Growth Through Pain

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath is the second of three books I chose for myself on our list. I've been meaning to read this book since I met Joe and I believe I purchased it when we were killing some time in a book store before a movie on our first date. I've picked it up and started it a half a dozen times but never finished it. This time around, I couldn't put it down. After really thinking about, I really connected with the title and the main character of Esther. Plath does a beautiful job with the metaphor of a bell jar and doesn't over-do it. To save you the time of google-ing a bell jar, its a piece of lab equipment used to create a vacuum. And I found it to be an amazing metaphor for Esther's depression and anxiety as well as my own experiences with the disorder.

I never made it past the scene where Esther witnesses a live birth. I would attribute my ability to get past that scene entirely to seeing my sister give birth last October. Before that it seemed unreal. If you're going to read this book, you should keep in mind the story takes place in the 1950's so a lot of seemingly strange events take place that were probably fairly common in that time. I'll ignore the fact that this book would be a great study of women during that time because there is so much I could say about the sexism in this book but I don't think I could ever finish this review. Instead, I just want to point out a few things that still baffle me that I'm pretty sure have nothing to do with Esther herself. The first example that comes to mind is at one point Esther describes mixing a raw egg with some raw hamburger in a teacup and eats it. I'm not sure if it's because her neurosis or just a typical thing to do back then...

I think my favorite part of this book is the subtle way everyone in Esther's life brings her down. I didn't notice it until Esther's doctor very late in the book stops allowing people to come visit Esther. When I spent more time thinking about the main people in her life (her mother, Buddy, Joan, and Doreen), in some way they all pull Esther in unhealthy directions. They feed their own problems without much care for Esther and it isn't noticed by her mother until about midway through the book that there is any sort of change in Esther. By this point though, the reader can clearly see Esther is past the point of her mother's help and clearly needs a lot of professional help. Esther spends a great deal of time shielding them from her emotional distress.

Her descent into depression and then her healing process are really beautifully written. It's a really nice smooth transition with obvious milestones and setbacks. If you have no experience with depression, this book gives a great picture into what the mind is capable of.

"How did I know that someday- at college, in Europe, somewhere, anywhere- the bell jar, with its stifling distortions, wouldn't descend again?"